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TOPIC: Aunty Noggins advice column
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Aunty Noggins advice column 1 Week, 5 Days ago Karma: 3  
Ere lads n ladesses, aunty noggin ere.
Nah some o'yous know me, some o'yous don't.
I is a 'igh priest and a mother and a font o'advice and useful(ish) info.

Afore this ere void came a big problem in our arses, I 'ad an advice column for all yous worries n t'issues yous culndt figure ouy yoursens.

Tis once 'gain open t'all!
Feel free t'send me yous tings yous want 'elp wiv n'ill do me best.

Lately I got asked
"Dear aunty Noggin.
What d'yous do if t'void steals yous lunch?"

Well. First off, who leaves t'precious tasty lunch jus lying rund for some random void thingy t'come long n steals it?!
Wa it a void pirate?! Dumbass!
So t'answer t'stupid Muppet (someun check n mek sure me little scrotbag kakrot din sen in this question formeh) yous 'as two options.
Option 1 - DONT LEAVE YAS LUNCH JUST LYIN RUND DIMWIT! T'be fair, good advice for all 'venturers that.
Option 2 - KICK T'VOID CREATURES NONEXISTENT FACE IN N TEK YOUS LUNCH BACK OFF ITS DISAPPERATING FORM DIMWIT

That's all fors now.
Tek care little munkins.
'member aunty Noggins always got yous back!
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